Air Force Bases in U.S. Could Close


The Air Force could close many of their 68 bases in the United States. No nation is ever going to invade or occupy us, and we simply don’t need such a large military. Many of the following could be decommissioned.

HAWAII: The Air Force should be allowed to continue sharing the Pearl Harbor-Hickam base.

ALASKA: The Elmendorf AFB in Anchorage can be saved, as well as Eielson AFB, 26 miles SE of Fairbanks, but the redundant Clear AFS, 78 miles Southwest of Fairbanks could be eliminated.

CALIFORNIA: In Southern California, we could disband two of the following four: 1) March Joint ARB in Riverside County; 2) Los Angeles AFB (involved in the space program); 3) Edwards AFB, northeast of LA; and 4) Vanderberg AFB, in Santa Barbara. In Northern California in the Sacramento area, two of the following three could be boarded up: 1) McClellan AFB; 2) Beale AFB; and 3) Travis AFB, between Sacramento and San Francisco.

WASHINGTON: Since there are Navy bases in near Seattle, the Air Force can keep Fairchild AFB, in western Washington, 10 miles from Spokane, while they dismantle the Joint Base-McChord Field, 9 miles from of Tacoma.

NEVADA: Nellis AFB, 7 miles northeast of Las Vegas, can carry on.

ARIZONA: We should maintain Davis-Monthan AFB, southeast of Tucson, but shut down Luke AFB, 15 miles west of Phoenix.

NEW MEXICO: The Holloman AFB, near the Mexican border, is in a sensible location, but let’s close Cannon AFB, on the Texas border in the east, and Kirtland AFB, up in Albuquerque.

IDAHO: Mountain Home AFB, southeast of Boise, can remain.

MONTANA: Malmstrom AFB, in the middle-western part of the state, can be saved, just in case the Canadians go nuts and invade.

WYOMING: Since we don’t need any bases in Wyoming, Francis E Warren AFB should get the ax.

UTAH: The U.S. can get by without the Hill AFB near Ogden.

COLORADO: Four facilities in the middle of Colorado are not required for our national security. We can spare the U.S. Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, but the redundant Peterson AFB, also in Colorado Springs, should go, along with Schriever AFB, near Colorado Springs, and Buckley AFB, just to the north.

NORTH DAKOTA: Bases in North Dakota are unnecessary, unless we are concerned about those pesky Canadians. Close either Grand Forks AFB, in the east, or Minot AFB, up in the northwest.

SOUTH DAKOTA: Unless Native Americans in Rapid City are planning an uprising against the U.S., Ellsworth AFB has no purpose.

NEBRASKA: Offcutt AFB near Omaha exists so planes can strafe the corn fields, searching for terrorists among the corn cobs.

KANSAS: Thank god we have plenty of jet fuel to burn, so our pilots at McConnell AFB can cover the wheat fields of Wichita.

MISSOURI: Just to be sure every state has a wasteful Air Force installation, the Whiteman AFB was built near Kansas City.

OKLAHOMA: Since Texas has so many bases, Oklahoma must lose two of three. Take your pick between Altus AFB, in the southwest, Tinker AFB, near Oklahoma City, and Vance AFB, in the north-central area.

ARKANSAS: If the right-wingers go nuts and re-segregate Central High, instead of sending in army troops, Little Rock AFB could be used to just bomb them right off the map.

TEXAS: San Antonio, home to Lackland AFB, once served as boot for many vets, and it can be preserved, but Brooks City Base, in the same area, and Randolph AFB, northeast of San Antonio, should be decommissioned. Laughlin AFB in southwest Texas along the border can remain, but western Texas simply doesn’t need Dyess AFB in Abilene, Goodfellow AFB in San Angelo, or Sheppard AFB on the Oklahoma border.

LOUISIANA: Since the Air Force shares a Joint Reserve Base in New Orleans (close to Bourbon St), it can be saved, but the Barksdale AFB, up in the northwest part of the state, should be shut down.

ALABAMA: Montgomery would get to keep Maxwell AFB.

MISSISSIPPI: The Keesler AFB, down in Biloxi, may serve a strategic purpose, so let it continue, but Columbus AFB, in the northeast on the Alabama border, should be decommissioned.

TENNESSEE: The U.S. does not need the Arnold AFB, located in the south-central part of the volunteer state.

ILLINOIS: No one would miss Scott AFB in metro St. Louis.

INDIANA: Close Grissom Joint Air Reserve in Kokomo.

OHIO: Is the Wright-Patterson AFB in SW Ohio protecting us? If so, from what?

MASSACHUSETTS: One of the two in the Bay state can be eliminated: Take your pick: Hanscom AFB in the east, or Westover Joint Air Reserve Base, in the west near Springfield.

NEW JERSEY: Jersey can keep McGuire AFB, near Trenton.

DELAWARE: For the boys who didn’t make it home, it’s been a tradition to bring them back to Dover AFB. Let’s preserve it.

MARYLAND: The Air Force can continue sharing the Joint Andrews Naval Air Facility in Maryland.

WASHINGTON DC: The Bolling AFB, in southeast Wash DC, is ok.

VIRGINIA: Langley AFB will never be closed.

NORTH CAROLINA: Either the Pope AFB (actually an Army airfield) in south-central NC, or the Seymour Johnson AFB, in the center of the state, should get the ax.

SOUTH CAROLINA: The Charleston AFB, on the coast, or the Shaw AFB, inland at Sumter, should be boarded up.

GEORGIA: Moody AFB, near the Florida border, or Robins AFB, in the middle of the state, should be slated for termination.

FLORIDA: Patrick AFB on the Atlantic could remain, but two of the three in western Florida: Tyndall AFB (Panama City), Elgin AFB, and Hurlburt Field, are redundant. The government could bulldoze and subdivide MacDill AFB in the City of Tampa, sell the land for development, and make a fast buck for the treasury.

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